When we hit hard times or encounter loss, it is completely normal to grieve and mourn that situation.

 

Whether that be the loss of a family member, a pet, a job, or even a drastic change in our lives that we were not prepared for. Grief is a normal part of the healing process and every one’s journey is unique. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is no timer to say “DING! You’re done!”.

 

Each person’s journey through death and grief is so individualized and unique.

 

Some people may try to tell you about how they ‘know how you feel’ because their loved one died also. But it’s not the same is it? It might even make you mad. Why are they comparing apples to oranges?

 

Yes, people always want to compare. Why? Because they don’t have much to compare to, their experiences are limited, but they still want to provide some sort of input into the conversation in hopes to provide you with some sort of comfort.

 

They may not say the right words and it may actually not make you feel better, but we have to think that they tried their best in that moment and try not to take it personally.

 

They love you and they are having a hard time finding the right thing to say. What do you say to someone who is going through this? It can be very difficult to find the right words.

 

Just like comparing your child’s intelligence to the other kids in the class. Not everyone is the same. We all learn, grieve, process, and do things differently. . . . And some people are just jerks. We all know that.

 

Your journey is your journey and there is no right or wrong way to grieve and process your emotions.

It’s a roller coaster and some days you will have ups and some days you feel like you are falling to a bottomless pit. Your loved one’s journey is their journey. Each journey is completely unique.

 

The best you can do is realize you’ve done the best you can do throughout all of it, know that they love you and you love them, and continue to try your best to get through your days one day at a time, one moment at a time, and one breath at a time.

 

It’s going to hurt. We are human. We have emotions. It’s not meant to be easy and no one’s journey is. But you are stronger than you think and you are doing a wonderful job.

 

Keep your head up and take things one day at a time. It’s not going to be easy, but you will work through this.

 

 

If your loved one hasn’t passed yet, until the time comes, cherish each moment.

 

Say the things you need to say.

 

Ask the questions you need to ask.

 

And reach out for help when you need it.

 

 

On the days you feel overwhelmed with your emotions or situation, allow yourself a moment to feel and work through those emotions. Have a good ‘ugly cry’, no one’s looking and no one is judging! But then, breathe. Find support within your church, a support group, or someone you trust. Engage in a hobby. Find one small thing you can be grateful for today. But most importantly, give yourself grace and don’t be hard on yourself for feeling this way.

 

Each day is a new opportunity to heal that hurt a little bit more.

 

Reach out to me if you would like to talk more. I would love to help you through this.